Relationships as viewed today!

We have always focused our energies and attention on the world outside. Our sensory receptors pass on information about the sensual pleasures to our brains and create attachment to the worldly pursuits. This pattern eventually takes us away from our own selves and disconnects us from our own beings. In the course of time, we become addicts to something or the other, be it a situation/ condition or worse a person…the outcome being misery for self and obviously the other/s.

We are not alien to the fact that most relationships are the targets of obsession with patterns/ habits which are self generated and self destructive in nature. It wouldn’t be wrong to state that we depict symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorders where relationships are concerned. There is so much of attachment to our ideas about what is wrong or right that we not just fail to view the others’ perspective but also completely disregard that their ways could even exist as a possibility! Above all, we claim that our actions are inspired by our love for the other and that is why we are in such a state where we can’t live without the concerned ‘object’ of obsession. Now what would you call such a behavior? Isn’t this pure hypocrisy!

A few days back, I was into a conversation with somebody who was on a complaint trip towards life and to break the pattern of mind traps, I asked her if she loved herself. Her instant reply was ‘of course!’…’U could even call me a ‘narcist…I have only one life and I do everything to enjoy it!’ Hmmm….this statement set me thinking that if one is really enjoying life, then where is the scope for complaints?

Another friend, married a month ago, called me to help him ‘save his marriage’! I asked him my favorite question…if he loved himself and his reply was in affirmative, indicating that it is his self love that’s preventing him from loving his wife!

Understanding Self

It is vividly clear that in both cases, the concerned people have mistaken something else to be self love. So, for the sake of convenience, let’s first understand what self love isn’t.

Selfishness x
Self centeredness x
Pride x
Ego x
Superiority complex x
Inferiority comple x

The above mentioned traits are the other extremes to loving self.

What then is Self Love?
To understand this, let’s know what constitutes self?
Self comprises:
- My Thoughts (the language of my mind)
- My Emotions (the language of my body)
- My Feelings (the language of my soul)

It’s been long since we first took ourselves for granted; only to stop paying attention to self and start condemning who we are. For example, so often we toil in feelings of guilt for having done something our conditioning has taught us never to indulge in…let me be more specific…sex! Consequently, we feel miserable and when one feels miserable, how can one be in love with self?
Similarly, there are so many things that we believe we should or should not have done. If you take an account of your day’s activities, you’ll notice that your critical mind has created a systematic log of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for each day, which doesn’t make you feel so good about yourself.

It’s important to know that just as we feed our bodies with the food we eat, we also feed our minds with the thoughts we harbor. When the food has gone stale and doesn’t suit our bodies, we encounter a situation called food poisoning. And then follows the medical care and rest required for recuperating completely.
Have you thought that there could be something like thought poisoning too? What medical care would you give to a person suffering from such an ailment? The irony is that almost everybody is suffering from this disease, but none wants to admit that they are mentally ill. Instead of getting better, we are getting worse…can you imagine the extent of damage caused to our minds due to our ignorance! Don’t you think if we do not take an account of the situation NOW, we could get insane?

Indeed, very soon we’ll be prisoners of a diseased mind which constantly harms itself and the body it occupies because every such thought creates a corresponding emotion in the body and settles there (till it finds a release). To me, this situation is alarming! And to you?

Think about it?